weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
