I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize