D3 body, D1 cock
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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