Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
