At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
it hurts more in the daytime
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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