It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
