I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
