You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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