'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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