Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
