You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
