They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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