her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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