I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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