I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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