white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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