my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
