She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
