Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize