i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
how drunk are you?
Several
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
