oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
