the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
