I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
