Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
