I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
