nut hugger
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
