you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
