When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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