You're my little dorito
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
