Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
