so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
