In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize