We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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