i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
