I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
