69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
