i always forget guys have bellybuttons
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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