is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
