her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
