watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
