I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
