He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
