Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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