I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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