Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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