don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
