I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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