I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
