Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
