Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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