I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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