i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
