i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
