okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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