well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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