I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
