Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
