I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
