i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
