Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
