? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Someone shit on the floor
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
This beer is not sobering me up at all
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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