ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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