i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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