So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Farmville is her only friend.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize