im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
