She is in my trunk
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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