I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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