umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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