i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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