Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
