You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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